Thursday, October 5, 2006
An open letter to Mr. Brad Pitt
it was recently when i heard you quoted. you said, you and angie will get married when "everybody who wants to be married can do so legally." first reaction, i'm a fan. reasons. i think it sounds really romantic. second, i like to boycott things, personally, and anyone who uses protest as a tool for social activism and progress can't be all bad in my book. a short book with mainly pictures, but nonetheless a book. but let's all just take a very lucid clear moment and keep it real with each other. back in the day when you made it honest with jennie on martha's malibu property you weren't so concerned with who else got to participate in holy matrimony. so let's assume the best, you had a change of heart. angie's out there saving the world and you're out there showing you can keep up. i can't be mad about that. what i would like us to focus on is really two key talking points. firstly, you want everybody who wants to get married to be able to do so? surely you would insist upon some restrictions. age, the amount of people who can be married to one another, relatives. surely if we allow all who want to be married to do so, these issues will arise. but what i really want to know is why it's just marriage you are pursuing equality under. i just dont see you saying to paramount i wont fly the corporate jet until everyone can-i will rely on commercial air travel. i also dont see you turning down a meal at spagos by your management because lots of people in the world are going hungry. or giving up your malibu residence because there are people with no homes who through circumstance will never see an ocean. you are super active doing good so i wont dig too hard and i hardly believe you are working towards a socialist climate, so what i really have to think is that you say these things to get people talking, blogging, ultimately generating press. which i have to say is a little interesting being you get it and then are super bothered by it. you and every celebrity. so look, how about you stick to acting. you aren't really the best at it, but i feel like angie could be a good role model/teacher. because your mediocre acting, your halfhearted messages about marriage filled with hypocrisy over your own plunge into bonded matrimony some years back, and your disinterest with equality between yourself and everyone else in every other aspect of your life just make me kinda discredit you all together. so just marry angie, get a thorough prenup, your career will be better off when it's over in a couple years, and stop pretending you care about marriage when you really just want to up your own stock. we'll go see your movies, just stop pretending this is about anything else but the press.
Friday, September 22, 2006
A fall classic
There are days it's definitely easier being a Dodger fan than on all other days. In a year that included a poor 05 season at its heels, a lineup of unproven rookies, shakey pitching, dramatic losing streaks, a season ending injury to Gagne, a sweltering Los Angeles summer heat wave - one can see how Monday night was simply one of those easy kind of nights.
It would be fleece blanket night and the last homestand of the regular season. The final meeting of the division rival San Diego Padres and the Los Angeles Dodgers. An uncharacteristic four game set concluding on a Monday night in front of a record sell out crowd. 2006 All Star starter Brad Penny reporting to the mound. Young Alabama ace and bad-tempered Jake Peavy called on for the Friars. For 24 hours the Dodgers had trailed the Padres in the NL West and the Padres had hoped to extend the lead to a game and a half. Where season change is rare, a crisp autumn air had begun to overtake the city and at arms length the brilliant lights of the downtown LA skyline sparkled. 55,831 fans were adorned in blue. Ok, so some were Padres fans. But everyone was ready for a decisive game, an important game, the most important game so far this season. It felt magical. And this was long before even the first pitch had been released.
We would be down 4-0 almost out of the gates. We do get 9 innings of game to play (at least that's what I shout to naysayers) and indeed we would squeeze it for all that it would be worth.
But we only care how it ends though, right? Who won, who lost, and maybe details a bench clearing brawl here and there. And indeed there was even the early signs of one of those.
Baseball is a sport of a habitual nature existing in a world of habit. And most people walk the earth awaiting a moment, and praying to the universe for a chance, to take a bat and break open the ordinary.
And then crack.
9-5 going in to the bottom of the 9th. Closer great Trevor Hoffman had been warming up, but with a 4 run lead, he wasn't needed for the save. Many argue save or not, this is crunch time, bring in your big guns regardless. But Padres manager Bruce Bochy sat him down and instead chose another reliever from the pen. Kent to the plate, blast. Homerun. Then Drew homers. Two in a row. Clearly Hoffman would be needed. However, he'd been sitting down, cold, not ready for a save opportunity, but Bochy called for him anyway. And in the bottom of the 9th with only 2 runs separating us, Trevor Hoffman reported to the rubber. First pitch to rookie Russell Martin, Homerun. Three in a row. First pitch to Marlon Anderson, homerun. Four in a row.
Back to back to back to back. Not since 1964 had any team in Major League Baseball accomplished this. Certainly never the Dodgers, ever. And certainly never off closer great Trevor Hoffman. And with the score tied 9-9, we would go to the 10th.
Some clutch plays by the Padres, we would again find ourselves down 10-9. Would it be possible that after that feat, the kind that comes around every 40 years, after one of the most electrifying and unbelievable comebacks in baseball, could we lose this game? I curled up in a ball in my seat. Literally. Bottom of the 10th. Lofton walked. With the tying run at first, and a fast runner at that, up to the plate walks Nomar, who had injured his left quad Friday, and had been nursing it since. Whatever happens, please let this to be a homerun, he's in no position for any kind of hustle baserunning, I mouthed to a reserve level basically empty at this point in the night. And on a 3-1 count, what made me smile, tear up, and laugh out loud almost as if all those things were one cohesive emotion, in the greatest performance this side of chavez ravine has seen by a disabled hitter since Kirk Gibson in the 1988 World Series, Nomar hits a walk-off homerun. Dodgers win the game 11-10 and reclaim the lead in the NL West.
"This will be a game," said manager Grady Little, "that people around here will remember for a long time."
It would be a game people would remember, if in April, if the homeruns were in the 2nd, if we ultimately lost the game. But with 12 games left in regular season play, a half game separating our division rivals, it was nothing short of magic.
If you're gonna go down, go down swinging, go down bunting, go down fighting in to that good autumn night.
In whatever way the next week and half shapes out, whether our bats get cold and we never see the light of post season play, or we have more to celebrate and more stories to tell come playoff time, I know only one thing - I got my fall classic. I got my fall classic in front of a sell-out crowd, on fleece blanket night, in my hometown.
"It was the best game I've ever seen," said starting pitcher Brad Penny.
It sure was.
It would be fleece blanket night and the last homestand of the regular season. The final meeting of the division rival San Diego Padres and the Los Angeles Dodgers. An uncharacteristic four game set concluding on a Monday night in front of a record sell out crowd. 2006 All Star starter Brad Penny reporting to the mound. Young Alabama ace and bad-tempered Jake Peavy called on for the Friars. For 24 hours the Dodgers had trailed the Padres in the NL West and the Padres had hoped to extend the lead to a game and a half. Where season change is rare, a crisp autumn air had begun to overtake the city and at arms length the brilliant lights of the downtown LA skyline sparkled. 55,831 fans were adorned in blue. Ok, so some were Padres fans. But everyone was ready for a decisive game, an important game, the most important game so far this season. It felt magical. And this was long before even the first pitch had been released.
We would be down 4-0 almost out of the gates. We do get 9 innings of game to play (at least that's what I shout to naysayers) and indeed we would squeeze it for all that it would be worth.
But we only care how it ends though, right? Who won, who lost, and maybe details a bench clearing brawl here and there. And indeed there was even the early signs of one of those.
Baseball is a sport of a habitual nature existing in a world of habit. And most people walk the earth awaiting a moment, and praying to the universe for a chance, to take a bat and break open the ordinary.
And then crack.
9-5 going in to the bottom of the 9th. Closer great Trevor Hoffman had been warming up, but with a 4 run lead, he wasn't needed for the save. Many argue save or not, this is crunch time, bring in your big guns regardless. But Padres manager Bruce Bochy sat him down and instead chose another reliever from the pen. Kent to the plate, blast. Homerun. Then Drew homers. Two in a row. Clearly Hoffman would be needed. However, he'd been sitting down, cold, not ready for a save opportunity, but Bochy called for him anyway. And in the bottom of the 9th with only 2 runs separating us, Trevor Hoffman reported to the rubber. First pitch to rookie Russell Martin, Homerun. Three in a row. First pitch to Marlon Anderson, homerun. Four in a row.
Back to back to back to back. Not since 1964 had any team in Major League Baseball accomplished this. Certainly never the Dodgers, ever. And certainly never off closer great Trevor Hoffman. And with the score tied 9-9, we would go to the 10th.
Some clutch plays by the Padres, we would again find ourselves down 10-9. Would it be possible that after that feat, the kind that comes around every 40 years, after one of the most electrifying and unbelievable comebacks in baseball, could we lose this game? I curled up in a ball in my seat. Literally. Bottom of the 10th. Lofton walked. With the tying run at first, and a fast runner at that, up to the plate walks Nomar, who had injured his left quad Friday, and had been nursing it since. Whatever happens, please let this to be a homerun, he's in no position for any kind of hustle baserunning, I mouthed to a reserve level basically empty at this point in the night. And on a 3-1 count, what made me smile, tear up, and laugh out loud almost as if all those things were one cohesive emotion, in the greatest performance this side of chavez ravine has seen by a disabled hitter since Kirk Gibson in the 1988 World Series, Nomar hits a walk-off homerun. Dodgers win the game 11-10 and reclaim the lead in the NL West.
"This will be a game," said manager Grady Little, "that people around here will remember for a long time."
It would be a game people would remember, if in April, if the homeruns were in the 2nd, if we ultimately lost the game. But with 12 games left in regular season play, a half game separating our division rivals, it was nothing short of magic.
If you're gonna go down, go down swinging, go down bunting, go down fighting in to that good autumn night.
In whatever way the next week and half shapes out, whether our bats get cold and we never see the light of post season play, or we have more to celebrate and more stories to tell come playoff time, I know only one thing - I got my fall classic. I got my fall classic in front of a sell-out crowd, on fleece blanket night, in my hometown.
"It was the best game I've ever seen," said starting pitcher Brad Penny.
It sure was.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
18 July 2006
Via Fax: 818-871-3100
The Cheesecake Factory Incorporated
26901 Malibu Hills Road
Calabasas Hills, CA 91301
To Whom It May Concern:
My correspondence today is drafted in reference to the change to your menu.
I have traveled to Cheesecake Factories in California and Hawaii and I am aware the menu differs depending upon location, sometime incorporating local flare such as fish and spices. However, the menu in the Los Angeles restaraunts is what I am most accustomed to and for much of my life I’ve ordered the veggie burger when I come to your establishment to dine. Not only do I rave about that thing to everyone I know, I don’t even open your menu to see what else you have on it. It is by far my favorite thing there. And sampling the veggie burgers in just about every restraunt I’ve ever been to, yours is by far my most favorite. I am sure you can appreciate my surprise and sadness when told the new menu does not reflect my favorite dish. Additionally, I am also a little surprised you’d take off one of the only vegetarian dishes off a multipage menu of meat dishes. I cannot think of a place I’ve been to in recent years that did not have a veggie burger on the menu. Surely I will find something else to eat when I go there and I’ll even pretend to like it, but how happy would you make me if you brought it back? Very.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Wareham
Via Fax: 818-871-3100
The Cheesecake Factory Incorporated
26901 Malibu Hills Road
Calabasas Hills, CA 91301
To Whom It May Concern:
My correspondence today is drafted in reference to the change to your menu.
I have traveled to Cheesecake Factories in California and Hawaii and I am aware the menu differs depending upon location, sometime incorporating local flare such as fish and spices. However, the menu in the Los Angeles restaraunts is what I am most accustomed to and for much of my life I’ve ordered the veggie burger when I come to your establishment to dine. Not only do I rave about that thing to everyone I know, I don’t even open your menu to see what else you have on it. It is by far my favorite thing there. And sampling the veggie burgers in just about every restraunt I’ve ever been to, yours is by far my most favorite. I am sure you can appreciate my surprise and sadness when told the new menu does not reflect my favorite dish. Additionally, I am also a little surprised you’d take off one of the only vegetarian dishes off a multipage menu of meat dishes. I cannot think of a place I’ve been to in recent years that did not have a veggie burger on the menu. Surely I will find something else to eat when I go there and I’ll even pretend to like it, but how happy would you make me if you brought it back? Very.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Wareham
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
My new couch: a love story
I've come to peace with the two months of Christmas music. I can tolerate the simple fact you cannot exit the 118 at Tampa or come within 15 miles of the Northridge mall without entering gridlock. I can even show up at my holiday party and make nice with my coworkers. That's me -- giving, generous and accomodating (and humble, did I mention ever so humble). I can go so far as to stop shopping for shoes for myself for a day or two and purchase things for other people. Again, giving and generous. And did I mention accomodating? So when I ventured to the Glendale Galleria Monday I had a plan. I had mapped out my trip. I had reserved cash for valet parking. I had practiced deep breathing prior to my departure. But things went bad and quickly. I arrived and valet was 15 cars deep and I drove around in circles through the parking structure. All things went awry. My heart started pounding. The city started spinning rapidly around me. I tried deep breathing. But it was too late. All I knew was I had to abort mission. ABORT MISSION. I feverishly looked for an exit. EXIT. There it is. I exit down a driveway and nothing looks familiar. I'm still in Glendale but I'm lost in a new land. I look for fellow survivors but I'm on the island alone. I drive and I drive and I drive and I drive and in the distance I see a mirage, a furniture store. Ahh, I say. Plush couches to sit on. I will sit and Glendale will stop spinning and deep breathing will resume and I will map out plan B for holiday shopping. I enter and focus myself on the closest couch. Breathing has resumed. Dizziness ceases. The shaking has left my body. I lay there in perfect harmony. What is this most wonderful couch my body lay upon? How I just sink into its memory foam. It's plush and lovely and just a little tasty scooping of wonderfulness. It's honestly everything I could ever ask for in a couch. The tag says how much? Oh why that's nothing when you haven't done holiday shopping for anyone. Several forms later and a valid method of payment and I am proud to announce that I am now the owner of a brand new couch. While I was thrilled beyond belief, as you can imagine, I knew there needed to be an alternative plan for holiday shopping. Surely I could not afford to buy living room furniture everytime I encountered a crowd and had anxiety about facing them. So I conferenced with my Mom, as any grown up adult would do, and she agreed to drive me and be my sponsor, if you will, while I attempted to shop once again. I can proudly report it went just swimmingly. She whispered words of affirmation in my ear as we took back roads to avoid the crowds. So if you have read this love story to completion, I do appreciate you for for your time. If I must finish 2005 single and alone in a little one bedroom apartment in the valley with my cats (really I am very happy this style just lends itself to a tidier ending) -- at least I can do so on my new loveseat and chaise with memory foam. And that really is the moral of this love story.
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