A Very Special Thanks From The Staff of Blonde Memoirs

A very special thanks to my hairdresser, Sara, who because of her talents in the salon today and every five weeks, we are able to continue on with the memoirs - and who without, I would be left in a downward spiral of self hatred and denial. And I would be brunette.

Update to Tackling Age

My much younger sister today told me she enjoyed my blog on age - and asked if I thought she needed anti-wrinkle creme.

It's a sort of a special feeling that comes from inspiring a new generation of women to be neurotic about the growing old process.

Amen to that.

It's All About Customer Service

Scott Plank believes he is my only loyal viewer. Out of a respect for old fashioned customer service and giving the users what they want, he's proposed I should write a blog about him.

Well you know what I say to that Mr. Scott Plank - you get your wish.

Scott Plank:
Man among men
Hero
Gentleman
Slightly an asshole

Happy Belated Birthday Britney

Even though the staff at Blonde Memoirs forgot your birthday (we actually remembered but were trying to play it cool), we thought it's never too late to post this picture of you on your birthday in as many places on the internet as humanely possible. But hey, you're Britney. You're basically invincible. So you go girl.

5 Ways My Night Will Be Significantly More Awesome Than Yours

Tackling Age

Alas even this girl must deal with the harsh realities that come with growing old. Growing old in LA. When my friends looked to diet and exercise years ago I mocked their frailty. I would handle growing old with superhuman strength. After all, I was invincible. I'd survived this long hadn't I - on a diet of donuts for dinner, no less.

At 27 when my peers bought under eye cremes and night gels promising to decrease the signs of fine lines and aging, I said I see your cremes and gels and I raise you one pair of good genes.

Thus blame it on an uncharacteristic rainy day in Southern California - the first of the season. Shit, I was in Hollywood, blame it on the town. It had left me misguided, dizzy feeling - but nonetheless I found myself in a store specializing in skincare, pressured by a good sales pitch and taunted by a freakishly good looking model on the billboard outside, and out sixty dollars. I walked to the car and thought about what I'd done. I had succumbed to probably what was inevitable about the landmark twenty-eighth birthday, the purchase of anti-aging scrubs and washes. Abrasive, though aromatic, my sixty dollar purchase doesn't give me the skin of a twenty year old, but perhaps with more use.

My cats think I'm crazy, but it's only because they love me unconditionally. Oh cats, if only the cruel world outside could know such love.

Spreading holiday cheer

A day of Saturday errands found me at Target. I started in sportswear, perused lamps,choose new bedding, picked up a new lint brush and rounded Christmas decorations to do a once over of food items. Down dairy and frozen food, up cereals and snack bars, down sodas and juices. At crystal light I took pause. As I scanned various powder mix-ins, something caught my eye. Myself. Somewhere between the morning when I dressed myself, and the food aisle at Target hours later, the top to my strapless dress had fallen below my chest, leaving me exposed. I looked down the aisle at an approaching family, hoping they would give me some sort of nod that four hours of Saturday errands hadn't been done topless. Maybe some explanation why I wouldn't have noticed this - why I wouldn't have felt something. But that family, complete with baby in cart, could provide nothing of the sort. I understand doing errands topless isn't traditional cheer, but hopefully somewhere along the way, someone felt a little bit of holiday cheer.