Rebecca: Can I tell you what a retard I am?
Lisa: Yes, please.
Rebecca: I ran to the supermarket last night.
And by ran I mean I drove.
I was certain I needed apple cider with the plummeting Los Angeles freezing seventy degree temperatures.
I saw these "mulling spices" tea bags.
And was certain that would make me apple cider.
One can imagine my disappointment after I had lit candles, got out my portable heater, draped my sweater blanket across me – just to take a swig of my toasty beverage and have it be weird tasting apple water.
As it turns out you add those to apple juice in order to make the cider.
It was terribly disappointing.
This is why I allow other people to cook for me and wait patiently in the drive through until they are done.
