Avoiding Loss

In the last five days I've experienced sadness, and guilt, deep and unutterable remorse and I've gone to extraordinary measures in those five days to ensure I never have to experience loss again. Why I can't even remember the right lose to use. Is it loss, lose, loose? I'm clearly not very good at it in physical or literative form. If I walk softly enough, keep my voice low enough, looking at no one, weaving from conflict, never forming bonds again, in a cave of fear and a shelter of security, I'd live forever and never speak again of the subject of loss.

See I don't even like when my baseball team loses. There's nothing good that ever comes from loss. On a shutout Saturday I attempted by every way one could, via text message, to negate that loss. But I do speak English, and you can't have bad reception by text message, and see, there's no one here leave a message, still doesn't get you out of the woods. A loss is a loss, and it will chase you down the leftfield line, over the foul pole and find the most faith held fan.

But in negating loss, even I eventually have to accept, life isn't lived. Pets can't be loved, and family would be an advantage never cherished.

So I have today to stay above the 500 mark. Win more than I lose, so that someday when I experience a shutout, in baseball, as in life, I can breathe in, shake my head side to side, and say, shit, that was one hell of a game.