Addiction

I hear it's terrible, addiction. Being so tied to someone or something that destroys you - and yet you still need. It's like totally uncool.

Having gone my life without any real attachment to anything, my unhealthy lust for couture aside, I wanted to see what it was like.

I decided to be a chain smoker.

It seemed doable. It was those smokers out there in front the bar, talking, laughing, sharing stories. I like to talk and laugh and share stories. And it's a built in break every hour at the old j-o-b. Who doesn't want to avoid doing work? Traffic - heck, I can handle that. I'll just pass the time smoking. I could find few downsides to it, other than the pesky health consequences. And I'd be the judge of that.

"You know you can put your cigarette out of your sunroof instead of the window," a friend said.

I did not know that. But what she failed to inform me of - the car had to be in motion. Several experiences burning my body with ash, being burned by others with their cigarettes, and I thought maybe this wasn't for me. But it was the last catch, that's what got me. Days would go by and I'd forget. A critical part, I'd learned, in being the chain smoker I'd aspired to be, is doing it a lot. As frequently as possible. But forgetting to do it, well that's not going to add up to addiction now is it?

Oh well.