My New Couch: A Love Story (Dec-2005)
I've come to peace with the two months of Christmas music. I can tolerate the simple fact you cannot exit the 118 at Tampa or come within 15 miles of the Northridge mall without entering gridlock. I can even show up at my holiday party and make nice with my coworkers. That's me -- giving, generous and accomodating (and humble, did I mention ever so humble). I can go so far as to stop shopping for shoes for myself for a day or two and purchase things for other people. Again, giving and generous. And did I mention accomodating? So when I ventured to the Glendale Galleria Monday I had a plan. I had mapped out my trip. I had reserved cash for valet parking. I had practiced deep breathing prior to my departure. But things went bad and quickly. I arrived and valet was 15 cars deep and I drove around in circles through the parking structure. All things went awry. My heart started pounding. The city started spinning rapidly around me. I tried deep breathing. But it was too late. All I knew was I had to abort mission. ABORT MISSION. I feverishly looked for an exit. EXIT. There it is. I exit down a driveway and nothing looks familiar. I'm still in Glendale but I'm lost in a new land. I look for fellow survivors but I'm on the island alone. I drive and I drive and I drive and I drive and in the distance I see a mirage, a furniture store. Ahh, I say. Plush couches to sit on. I will sit and Glendale will stop spinning and deep breathing will resume and I will map out plan B for holiday shopping. I enter and focus myself on the closest couch. Breathing has resumed. Dizziness ceases. The shaking has left my body. I lay there in perfect harmony. What is this most wonderful couch my body lay upon? How I just sink into its memory foam. It's plush and lovely and just a little tasty scooping of wonderfulness. It's honestly everything I could ever ask for in a couch. The tag says how much? Oh why that's nothing when you haven't done holiday shopping for anyone. Several forms later and a valid method of payment and I am proud to announce that I am now the owner of a brand new couch. While I was thrilled beyond belief, as you can imagine, I knew there needed to be an alternative plan for holiday shopping. Surely I could not afford to buy living room furniture everytime I encountered a crowd and had anxiety about facing them. So I conferenced with my Mom, as any grown up adult would do, and she agreed to drive me and be my sponsor, if you will, while I attempted to shop once again. I can proudly report it went just swimmingly. She whispered words of affirmation in my ear as we took back roads to avoid the crowds. So if you have read this love story to completion, I do appreciate you for for your time. If I must finish 2005 single and alone in a little one bedroom apartment in the valley with my cats (really I am very happy this style just lends itself to a tidier ending) -- at least I can do so on my new loveseat and chaise with memory foam. And that really is the moral of this love story.
No comments:
Post a Comment